Court Vs. Mediation

Go to Court or Mediation which is better?

Ovoid the Courtroom at all costs, I wish somebody had told me -

Family court is one of the most depressing places on the planet. I'm sure J.K. Rowling used family court as a model for her Dementors in Harry Potter. All happy thoughts are purged from your system.
Is it really that bad?
Yes

The pain starts on the outside in the never ending line, imagine Baton Death march. Once you are up to the front, cell phone has a camera? Take it back to your car, jump back to the end of line  .. . . . . you cannot bring a camera in family court. Once you are back up front, you have a belt on? Why ? because no one told you about the ultra sensitive metal detectors? A belt is a waste of time,  my lawyer tipped me off, back to a good lawyer is worth it.
Excellent, now you are putting your close back on next to the bank of elevators, notice the expressions on the faces around you , it is starting . . . .the happiness is being sucked out of them . . . . . you realize this place is different . . . . different in a bad way  . . . . . . .

Pack into the elevator, no need to be polite and "wait your turn" remember the line outside? Yep . . . they are all headed for the elevator . . .
Press your floor, the floor determines what kind of court room you go too, they all suck  .. . . some suck more than others . . .
This is where it can start getting a bit weird   . . . creepy  . . My first elevator ride I was packed sardine style, with one lady in the back crying to her lawyer about being a good mommy  . . . How she took the time to cook her kids dinner instead of going out with her friends . . . .she was in tears . . . missed her kids  . . .from what I could get out of the two minute elevator ride, her kids were removed due to her drug use and leaving them to fend for themselves , five year old girl, seven year old boy  . . she was bawling . . . .transparent best describes her act. In the two minute elevator ride I concluded this woman should never be alone with her kids . . .that is messed up!

Ping your floor - spill out of the elevator . . .

Floor is filled with bewildered people not talking with a kind of empty how did I get here stare.

Sprinkled in with the herd of people are some gnarly looking bailiffs, same look as a soldier gets when they have seen and done too much.

Where is your attorney? He is there, smiling which is bizarre against the back drop of the hallways . .

Then you notice a class distinction all the attorneys are smiling, their clock is ticking, this is where they make BIG bucks .. .. they are worth it  . . . but the clock is ticking . .to the tune of $350 per hour +

One thing to mention here, court does not necessarily start on time, it starts when you are ready to go in, plan on an all day affair. ( remember that ticking clock? )

Inside the courtroom, say nothing unless directed to do so by your attorney, you will not want to anyways.

Court has a way of neutering people.

Boom - it's over -

Extension?

What just happened goes through your head -

Your counsel will explain it all to you on the way down in the elevator.

Attorneys are great at extending even the most mundane cases, it is in their best interest of billable hours. They are never ready on the first go around. In my case , which is not unique, the opposition had several cases going on at once and was bouncing back and forth  . . . this extended the day  . . . . he was also not properly prepared. . . pissed off the judge not good.

Just like the Terminator you will be back!
How does this relate to mediation?

I want to paint a real clear picture that if you can get your future X spouse into mediation, I'm talking mediation in a lawyers office away from the courtroom you will save mental scaring and money!

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger . . In the case of family court I'm not too sure . . I liken the experience to being hit with a grenade, when you wake up, you still have shrapnel left in your body that the docs could not remove.


Mediation can be done in your lawyers office, I'm not talking the mandatory mediation in the family court building. We will cover that type of mediation in another blog post. I'm talking the kind in a nice squishy chair, over a nice hardwood table , where someone can bring you coffee. You might get lucky and have a view!

I had to go the route of the court room.

I can only dream of how easy it would have been in mediation.

My vote goes to mediation. Let your attorney do what he does best  . . . cut deals . .

If mediation does not work you always have court to fall back on.

Time to go fish and cheer myself up-

Cheers

Dave